Confessions of a Cynical Professor – 10 Things Teachers Say… and what I’m really thinking.

In graduate school a highly respected professor called me in his office. His face was strained and although I was more than passing his class, I figured this was not going to end well.

 
“You are the most cynical student I have ever had in class,” he said.
 
“Thanks!”  I replied as I skipped out of his office.  And I really meant it. 
 
I am cynical. I ask a lot of questions and I cast doubt as generously as a pixie spreading fairy dust. Over the years, I’ve learned to contain some of that doubt in my air bubble. But as we all know, the bubble has a tendency to burst – and this time it’s exploding on my peers, my fellow teachers.
 
This post is for all the positive, optimistic teachers who have unwittingly provided a backdrop for my cynical commentary. Truth be told, your rosy eyed views keep me in check.
 
10 THINGS TEACHERS SAY AND WHAT I’M REALLY THINKING
 
Teacher      “I’ve never had a student I didn’t love.”
AirBubble  “Consider taking half your pill dosage.”
 
Teacher       “I change all my tests every semester.”
AirBubble   “Of course you do. We all do.”
 
Teacher       “My students are my children.”
AirBubble   “The registrar will happily forward their tuition bills to your home address.”
 
Teacher       “Every student has potential.”
AirBubble   “Absolutely! Grades should be replaced by Barney stickers.”
 
Teacher       “100% of my students rate me as ‘very favorable’.”
AirBubble   “You’re amazing. Can I touch you?”
 
Teacher       “Teaching keeps me young.”
AirBubble    “#thatsnotwhattheythink
 
Teacher       “Why are they texting in class?”
AirBubble   “We’re boring.”
 
Teacher        “They think Wikipedia is a valid source.”
AirBubble    “I hope my blog becomes so popular it will merit a Wikipedia entry.”
 
Teacher        “I am soooo busy.”
AirBubble    “You realize you get to decide how many assignments and the due dates?”
 
Teacher        “My students inspire me.”
AirBubble    “Can I have the other half of your pill?”
 
Lesson Learned – if you are a cynical student you’ll probably grow up to be a cynical adult. Try and have a sense of humor at your own expense. I find it lightens the load.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  • Gairy Nelson

    “Can I have the other half of your pill”, that’s funny. This post made me smile on a hot summer day. In response, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a cynical person. It helps to define people’s character and personality. For teachers it makes them much more interesting and tolerable so the students wont text as much.

  • http://www.larencontregratuite.fr/member/blog_post_view.php?postId=11566 lcdmodg

    lcdmodg

    Agree with your mind. Can you can keep update your post. I will back. thank you!

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    AIRBUBBLE.DEIRDREVERNE.COM: Confessions of a Cynical Professor – 10 Things Teachers Say… and what I’m really thinking.