On Behalf of College Students, A Professor Appeals to Psychic Theresa Caputo, The Long Island Medium


Dear Theresa,

 

An urgent matter is at hand requiring your unprecedented connection to the spirit world.

 

For years, I’ve tracked the passing rate of grandmothers during an academic semester. And by passing rate, I don’t mean grade distribution. Based on my data, the rate at which grandmothers exit this world spikes dramatically in mid October and early December.

 

As a parent of college age children yourself, you can imagine the emotional stress caused by this statistical aberration that I’ve coined the ‘Granny Graph’.  Numbers, like spirit, do not lie – grandmothers’ deaths are perfectly correlated with college midterms and finals. This in turn causes an avalanche of late papers, missed tests and weeks of absences.

 

I realize that despite your VIP pass to the spirit world, there’s nothing you can do to prevent these tragic events. (I imagine you’d be mobbed by swarm of tearful grandfathers if you could!)

 

However, I was hoping that before the semester starts you could offer college students around the world a mass scale reading. A one-size fits all pope-like message from grandmothers passed. I’m sure their comforting words would go something like this:

 

“If you dare to lie about my passing in order to get out of a test, midterm, final or paper, I will personally pay you a visit in the middle of the night. I’ll wait for a rainy, thundering night and I’ll make sure to bring your crazy Uncle ________.”

 

 

Thank you for considering this request. And thank you for connecting with my own grandmother at the Tarrytown Music Hall in 2012! Say hi to Larry and the kids.

 

Your Biggest Fan,

Professor Deirdre Verne

  • http://www.cloggingalong.wordpress.com Nancy

    Deirdre, Too funny! Congratulations on a fabulous blog. Just watched her on TV here in NL and was impressed with Theresa — her connection to the other world and her ability to laugh at herself.
    Miss you guys! the kolffs

  • Richard Strickrodt

    My opinion is that the fact that grandmothers pass away in October and early December could be just a coincidence, but is it? I feel that this could highly be because of the change in weather in early October from warm to cool and from cool to very cold in December. Many older people’s bodies are starting to break down and slowly become weaker and weaker. Many times you hear how older people die of the Flu or a bad cold, when someone who’s 25 is only out of work for a few days. This a specific reason how a mild illness can be the sad cause of death of an elderly lady. I don’t really see any other reason that more elderly people die when those months come around. The only difference between this parts of the month and June and July is the change in weather from hot to cold. They don’t just pass away because they see snow or the leaves fall, it is simply a large change in weather. I can’t see any other possibility, unless people die in October and early December for no reason.

  • Richard Strickrodt

    My opinion is that the fact that grandmothers pass away in October and early December could be just a coincidence, but is it? I feel that this could highly be because of the change in weather in early October from warm to cool and from cool to very cold in December. Many older people’s bodies are starting to break down and slowly become weaker and weaker. Many times you hear how older people die of the Flu or a bad cold, when someone who’s 25 is only out of work for a few days. This a specific reason how a mild illness can be the sad cause of death of an elderly lady. I don’t really see any other reason that more elderly people die when those months come around. The only difference between this parts of the month and June and July is the change in weather from hot to cold. They don’t just pass away because they see snow or the leaves fall, it is simply a large change in weather. I can’t see any other possibility, unless people die in October and early December for no reason.

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  • Dana Cavaluzzi

    I love Theresa Caputo! The face she makes when contacting spirits is hysterical. Regardless, you are probably right in my opinion. Students often lie about the passing of their family members but the question is- did their family members actually pass or are they still alive? In my family, I have been given permission to use the death of loved ones by them, personally, before they had died. This may seem strange or even a little creepy, but its something that my family does. Although I have yet to use death as an excuse for anything, many students have no problem doing so because they feel comfort with either the fact that the person is already gone or that they aren’t jinxing whoever it is. However, giving others the benefit of the doubt, maybe professors don’t hear about death during other points in the semester since less assignments are due and students are under less pressure so it just that much easier to handle.

    Does anyone else’s family exchange permission to use their death as an excuse whenever they need?
    Is it easier to handle the stress of a death when you have less pressure in school?

  • Camille Gordon

    Wow after reading this, it REALLY struck a nerve, going to try and keep it short. First, I’ve never watched her show but I’ve seen her on t.v, can’t speak on her BUT since I’ve been going after a college degree I LITERALLY had 4 deaths, ask me why, I have no idea. I actually thought about it the other day because they were MAJOR set backs and one of them was my grandmother, however SHE DID NOT die in those months she died in the summer while I was taking summer session classes. Anyway, my brother was murdered in my country in Jamaica 3 weeks after we had a family vacation or small reunion, I had to postpone putting my papers in for fall 2010, very disappointed. Okay I enrolled at wcc for spring 2011, everything was good until spring of 2012, my grandmother became very ill ad caught pneumonia 3 times that year, there wasn’t a birthday that passed that she never called me but that year she was very sick. Reason being, her mother died exact day and year I was born, so you can imagine, I was her favorite out her 30 something grandchildren. It was a lot of back and forth to the hospital and it stressed me out, she’s actually the reason why I’m in school in the first place. My main goal was for her to attend my graduation and that never happened. She passed that June and YES it did affect my school work, it was a total mess to say the least. Okay this semester, I knew my mother in laws health was declining from last semester before last semester closed she was unresponsive and on a respirator, she was dying of a rare and terminal brain cancer. My aunt that resided in London was dying of cancer as well, she had bowel/colon cancer which rapidly spread. Both of these women passed in October in the same week. My aunt passed the Monday and my mother in law passed the Thursday. Guess what I have to do? I have to micro manage myself in 2 different continents and get stranded for nearly a week in London. This semester 6 out of 8 classes are online, what I thought would have been convenient was no longer convenient when you have work to hand in online and you have no internet in another country. With that all being said I have come to realize that LIFE happens and no matter how prepared and all the planning you feel you do always expect the unexpected. That is just life. I have 3 semesters away from getting my BA and I would like for it to be smooth sailing from here on, I personally don’t have anymore energy to attend anyone else’s funeral.